July 8, 2025 • 60 mins
British actor, producer, and entrepreneur Oliver Trevena joins You vs You for a raw, heartfelt conversation about the pursuit of happiness, the illusion of success, and the lifelong journey toward self-acceptance. From his early days in a small English town to the highs and lows of Hollywood, Oliver opens up about battling feelings of inadequacy, the search for purpose, and the lessons life keeps trying to teach him. Through candid reflections on mental health, identity, and redefining what it means to be "enough," this episode explores how embracing our vulnerabilities can lead to genuine fulfillment.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The biggest realizations I've had is that everything I ever
thought that would make me happy has enough.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You're now in Hollywood because you have businesses, you have
all these things.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I think Hollywood for me it's been a rollercoaster of happiness, suppression, darkness.
Oh you've got a crowd of people clapping. Instantly, I
was like, Oh, maybe I am enough, Maybe I do
fit in. It's literally since I was a kid, it
was why am I here? What am I doing here?
But at the time that was that was definitely my escape.
But we've all got that feeling of not being enough,
And for me, what shifted it is just why are
(00:36):
you trying not to?
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Words have power?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
If there's a word or a phrase that you can
tell yourself right now.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
A lot of things that I've tried to tell myself,
like look in the mirror and tell myself I'm enough.
But I think what really hits me is.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Just is there a lesson that you know that life
has been trying to teach you that you feel like
you keep running away from.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Is exactly what we're talking about, is just because if
I can, I can Everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Welcome to another episode of You Versus You on this
week's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking to British actor,
producer and entrepreneur Oliver Trevina. From starting on the Paradox
Effect to co founding Cali Water with Vanessa Hudges, he's
redefining the Hollywood business model. Today we speak about success,
happiness and what it truly means to have purpose. Oliver,
(01:22):
welcome to you versus you.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Thanks for having you know.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm excited to have you here, not only because we've
shared a lot of really great times together which would
have been random, but we've been like in Perto de
Marti and Iviza and all these other places, but because
I generally feel there's something special about the energy you carry,
you know, and I think that it resonates in everything
(01:45):
that you do, not only in friendship. But I can
I can see why you are accomplishing the things that
you are.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But I want to kick it off there. Why entertainment,
It's a great question. I think it was just putting
me from kid. I got into entertainment when I was
four years old my mum. I grew up in a
little town south of London on the South Coast called Hastings.
There's not a lot of entertainment happening there other than pubs,
you know. And I'm the youngest of four boys, and
(02:15):
my mom my mom says I chose to do it.
It's still an argument we have to this day. But
I was four years old and I ended up doing
ballet and I did that for twelve years. So I
did ballet, tap modern jazz, got very you know, accomplished
in it. But ballet was the you know, the thing
that I guess got me out of the small town,
took me to London. And yeah, so entertainment, you know,
(02:37):
from then I went into you know, theater at the
same time, acting school, everything else. And I think, yeah,
it's strange looking back because, as I say, I still
don't know how I even saw ballet back then. Like
it was the eighties I grew up. There wasn't dancing
at the start and stuff like that, you know, I mean,
it definitely wasn't cool. Yeah, you know, that's when I
(02:58):
started again tattoos and I was like four een years old.
I just didn't want to get bullied. I was like, no,
its tough, really, but that was that was what you know,
painted that past. You know, it could have gone a
different way. I think life is definitely slideing doors in
so many moments of our life, you know, but that
is what kind of got me into entertainment. And I
loved it, you know. I love the rush being on stage,
(03:19):
you know, seeking that validation. But yeah, that's that's what
got me into it.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
What do you think, like if you can look back
and feel back those moments right as a kid, like
feeling the art of performance right, because I think there's
something special. Was it something that felt pressured? Was it
something that.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Felt like I feel whole here?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
What was the feeling of like sitting into performances? What
was it about it that continued to drew you in
even if your mom put you in.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Even if it was heard that look, my mom put
me in it. I stayed in there for twelve years.
I didn't have to, you know, my dad loved football
and I used to play a lot of football. I
could have easily you know, switched to your point there.
You know we I think we were have chapters right
in life for sure. But going back to that chapter,
for me, it was a feeling of you know, I
didn't feel enough as a kid. I always felt different.
(04:10):
You know, I had three elder brothers. From the minute,
as young as I can remember, I felt different. You know,
at least the performance side for me helped me be
someone different, you know, like whether it was a theater
show or whether I was on stage that kid that
got dressed up and got on stage, in that moment,
I was someone different. Of course I was still me,
(04:31):
but it gave me an escape in a way, you know.
And then, like I say that, you know, the slippery
things that come with that are like it sounds funny,
but it is. That is validation, right Like when you're
standing on the stage and you do well and you've
got a crowd of people clapp and instantly I was like, oh,
maybe maybe I am enough, maybe I do fit in.
And then that's a slippery slope as a kid, because
then that's what I'm seeking, not only on stage, but
I'm seeking it everywhere. To answer your question, I think
(04:53):
it was just it gave me an outlet. It gave
me like an escape of that feeling in my head,
my mind, that those thoughts that was always like, you know,
it's literally since I was a kid, it was why
why am I here? What am I doing here? Like
I'd look at people and be like, I'm so not
like you, and not in a negative way, just like
I didn't quite understand me. And but when I got
(05:18):
on stage or when I did something like that, it
was like an escape and I felt me, I guess
even though you know, you unravel it or and then
you're like, that wasn't me either, you know, but at
the time that was that was definitely my escape, and
I think that's what That's what that's why I loved it,
you know, That's why I became addicted to it was
because it was like it was a relief of the mind,
(05:41):
you know, as soon as I was up there, that
was it.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
It's really interesting because you touched on so many things
that I think, you know, barely gets talked about. I
can relate to the fact that I feel like my
mind doesn't stop, like I felt growing up that I
wasn't normal, you know. And then we grew up in
a in an era where mental health or like really
understanding the things that we struggle with mentally and how
(06:05):
we look at these things where there were not conversations
that people were having, like nobody was coming in here
and saying, okay, you know, it's your mind. Your mind
controls all these things, and my mind for as an
eight year old seven year old, was just running wild
in my imagination and how I looked at the world.
(06:25):
But it also which is really crazy, because when you
think back of our careers, I think that, you know,
like you said, it's been a gift. That's probably the
reason we're here because we can look at a situation
and like solve it in a way that other people
just don't see it. But with all that superpower, there's
this insecurity that comes up, like I'm not good enough,
(06:46):
or like do I really belong here?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Of course. Well, it's like it's a lot of the
realizations or work that I'm constantly doing is around patterns, right,
Like it's patterns that got us from four to fifteen
and then fifteen to thirty or whatever might have been amazing,
but they might not work for this next chapter, you know,
And it's understanding that like what was good for me then,
and I'm grateful for it, But now I can let that,
(07:10):
you know, try to let that part of me go,
you know, or try to find balance in it, or
try and find a middle ground. You know.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I was watching the scientists speak about your brain development
as you're growing up and how it gets influenced. And
it was talking about how when you're born, until you're
about like eight years old, nine years old, or maybe
a little younger, there's this box that gets created in
your life by your parents, right because your parents are
(07:39):
by default taking their own trauma, their own things to say, Okay,
don't do that, don't do this, Hey, this could be wrong.
Here's the religion you have to practice, here's the things
that you have to do, Here's how the world looks here.
And so you build this box and your world becomes
that's my truth of course. Right Then as you started
meeting some friends and you start realizing, well they got
(08:01):
divorced parents, they're thinking about it in a different way.
There may be Jewish or Christian or something else. Then
it's like a ship of this box gets broken and
now starts getting replaced with this idea that there's something different.
Then as you kind of grow older and go into
high school, you know, society comes in and now you
have an opinion of media being fed to you that says, hey,
(08:23):
this is the right thing. Hey, you know, the wealthy
and rich and having nice things is how you get
self worth and do all these things and said, well,
once you get to high school, now you have a
whole bunch of this part in that box, a small
corner of what your parents taught you that you are
now trying to erase as you think you're discovering who
(08:44):
you are a huge part of what your friends are
telling you. And then you enter the reality of society
because you go to college and it's like, if you're
a man, you got to go make money, you gotta
have this, you got to be married, you gotta have kids,
you gotta have this, you gotta have that. And if
you're a woman, if you're not having kids, he said,
for men and for women, as they're getting closer to
their forties, they stop by a mirror and they say,
(09:07):
who the.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Fuck am I?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And he said most people walk away, And the work
is to sit in front of the mirror and try
to revisit what that is and re challenge that. Right,
because part of all these things that we live and
I heard you speak about this in a couple of
(09:29):
the other interviews that you've done, is the programming and
the stories we tell our minds, right, Like we tell
our minds that we're not good enough. But the realities
were actually okay, we're more than presently okay. So as
you've with that concept in mind, as you go from
(09:51):
you know, being in theater, being a kid, and we'll
go back to that stage in your life. You're now
in Hollywood, right, You're now my name in Hollywood. You've
done films, you have businesses, you have all these things.
How does the Oliver of today feel about the things
that he was dealing with as a child.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
The Oliver today, I mean, let it's work, right, I
think the biggest I think, in a nutshell, the biggest
realizations I've had. I mean, I'm, you know, forty three,
I would say in the last few years, is that
everything I ever thought that would make me happy hasn't.
That's the simplest way of gogle goosebumps like, that's the
(10:34):
simplest way of the growth or the work that I'm doing.
That's what it is, because come into Hollywood, you know,
twenty odd more than twenty years ago, the chase, you know,
and I've been fortunate enough to succeed in so many
of the areas that I would have dreamed of succeeding it.
(10:55):
But that little boy that was on the stage that
didn't fit enough. None of that changed that, you know,
the car, the house, the girlfriend to watch, the jewelry,
that every every single little thing I've clutched that or
try to get to just free that part of my mind.
It never worked, never worked. So for me, the I
(11:16):
won't say battle. I think I actually find more peace
in it than anything else. Is doing what I want
to do and what makes me feel good. And what
I'm finding is is normally the most simplest things. You know.
It's not the don't get me wrong, I still love
nice things and you're still going to see me have
nice trips and do nice ship and everything else. But
(11:38):
it's not necessarily always that, you know. It's like stopping,
pausing and then being like, what do I what do
I want to do in this moment? What do I
want to do? You know, and and and listening to
that part of the brain or the heart I should
say instead of instead of rushing into oh my god,
this this is amazing, this is glamorous, this is so cool.
(12:00):
I'm going to rush into that. You know, even from
a job perspective, it's doing what I want to do,
you know, And that doesn't mean that then suddenly like
I don't like nice things, or I don't like to
live a nice life, or I don't like to go
to nice hotels or on trips or whatever it is.
It just means like I know that I'm doing that
because I want to do it, not because I'm doing
it because I expected to then make me feel something
(12:22):
and that removing that expectation of the outcome makes me
enjoy it more. And this is something that's like new,
Like I'm trying to do this like as we speak,
like on a daily basis. But that's been the biggest realization.
And I think for me, like I've done a lot
of you know, like as I say, work on myself
around like patterns and this, and there's been some amazing
(12:43):
things in life that's helped me, Like I will say,
like the Hoffmann Institute I went to a few years
ago and that was amazing and various. You know, I
get chapters in life where I've tried to really peel
back the onion and find out what's going on? Why
do I not feel like enough? And I think the
more I've tried to peel back the onion, the place
I've got to is that just accepting that I am
(13:07):
enough and I haven't got to carry on peeling back
the onion, you know, like that, that just feeling of
being like, oh, I'm actually okay, instead of constantly still
trying to be like why am I good? What trauma
affected me as a kid?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Was it being being up? Was it you know, whatever
it was? Was it parent stuff, whatever it was, We've
all got right. Some people have it a lot worse.
Some people have it fortunate enough not to have it
as bad. But we've all got that feeling of not
being enough. And for me, what shifted it is just
accepting that I don't want to keep trying to fix
me anymore. Like I'm okay, everything's okay. I've got a
(13:51):
dog on my lap right now, I'm sitting talking to
a mate. I'm in LA right now, is okay. The
only time I'm tripping is when I'm thinking about the
past or the future. And it's the ship that we
all sorry my language that it's the stuff that we
all read in books all the time. And it's so simple,
And I think there's a reason it's in so many books.
(14:11):
It's because it's so simple and it does work. It's
that realization and then, don't get me wrong, I still
enjoy the nice things. But am I having expectation that
that new car that I want is going to suddenly
make Oliver feel enough? Because if I am, it ain't
going to work. Don't get the car. If I actually
stop and I'm like, do I want to buy this
(14:32):
car because I I want this car and it's for
me and I'm going to enjoy driving it, then buy
the car. You know, but none of it is going
to really you know, That's why people always mind blow
when they're like, oh, I met this couple in you know,
Thailand and they were the happiest people ever and they
had nothing. Well it was because how many times do
we have to all be shown that none of that
(14:52):
is actually going to give you that feeling? You know.
That's that's the chase. So I think Hollywood for me
has been a lot of It's been a row, a
coaster of happiness, depression, darkness, brilliant and the chase. And
I'm trying to slow down the chase a little bit. Now.
That's probably where I'm at in life.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Do you remember the moment or the stage or chapter
of your life where you realize, oh, shoot. All the
things I thought were going to make this better are
not there. Was it like an event? Was it something
that you lived and were like.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
The little kid in me? If you went back to
Hastings and the little kid in tights with lipstick on
standing on the stage and you said you're going to
be in a you know, Hollywood movies, I would have
been like, I mean, that's like the biggest dream and
now I'm getting to do that.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
But I'm not.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I wasn't enjoying the moment of it because while I
was on set, I'm constantly thinking where's the next project?
What can I package next? I'm constantly thinking about business stuff.
And then the movie's gone, and then everyone's clapping at
the rap party being like we're rapped. I'm like, what
just happened? You know? So yeah, to answer your question
that it's still I find that, you know, not everyone,
(16:06):
but at least for me, it's been like a rubber band,
right like I'll have the I'll have that aha moment,
I'll have the realization and then you're going down this
path and then you slip, and it's how quickly you
get off that back onto the path, and then you'll
have another AHA moment. So I don't think for me,
it's just been like boom, that realization. I've had that
(16:27):
realization a few times, and I feel like every time
the moment very recently, like a week or so ago,
where it just happened again and it felt like it
hit on a core level, that's that shifted me. But
I don't know what the future holds. Right now. I
feel great and I feel like change has happened. But
the first time I felt it was I remember exactly
(16:50):
where it was, and this is this sounds so obnoxious.
I was at sam Withsente Bungalow's members club right and
I was meant to be going on this Hoffman Institute
course and I had pushed it probably I think over
the space of two years, i'd pushed it eight times,
and they kept emailing saying, you know you're gonna lose
your deposit. And I was like, oh, well, please put
(17:10):
me on April course, Please put me on. And every
time I'd push it, sometimes because I got a job,
sometimes just because I was like I don't need this.
I'm crushing life now. And I got an email from
the facilitator saying, Hey, we're going to have to take
you off this waiting list of this course. And I
read the email and something in me dropped, like my
stomach dropped. And I went into like their little back
payo area and I emailed and said can you get
(17:30):
on a call and she said yeah, and I called
and I said, I need to come. And it was
that moment because I realized everything. I was getting, everything
I'd got, and I was, you know, crushing life, so
I thought, and I was, I was more empty than
I've ever felt in my life, like literally more more
lost than the kid that had nothing. And so in
(17:54):
that moment, that was when I went. And that was
when you know that that whole course is about like
patterns and peeling back life and going back to where
it will start and letting it all go. And it's amazing.
And I'd like to say that it like, you know,
fixes everything, but it doesn't, because we're a constant. We're
in life every day, and life every day especially with
phones and you know, media and everything else that we're
(18:16):
pulled into and people. You know, I'm fortunate enough to
be surrounded by massively successful people both in entertainment and
in business, and that little voice in my head wants
to tell me all the time that I'm not doing
good enough because that guy's you know, doing this, and
that guy's doing that, and that for me is the
daily battle is just you know, and that's the shift
(18:37):
I feel this time around is just like taking time
for me. I think it sounds you know, I think
we're raised, at least our generation in a way of like,
you know, me is selfish. You know, putting me first
is selfish, and so I've always tried to do the opposite.
Yet you know, it's it's it's I hate being the
cliche guy, but it's so true that you know, you've
got to put your own mask on that simple and
(18:59):
so if I start every day by just trying to
what do I want today, what do I want to do?
You know, it doesn't mean I'm going to let my
businesses fail or anything else. But you can only do
what you can do, you know, and then the rest
you got to kind of surrender to and accept. Acceptance
is really what shifted me.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yeah, I think it's it's amazing that you pinpoint acceptance too,
because I think I would say one hundred percent of
the battle is accepting one hundred percent of the battle
is saying like I'm okay and none of these things
are going to change. Also in that same token, because
I know a lot of people hear this and all
(19:35):
of us. It happens to all of us right where
we start doing really good, we're on track, we feel
really good. Something happens and then we're like, but you
get the anxiety of like you're not doing good, and
you let go of the teaching and the learnings, and
it's like even accepting that, right and one of the.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Things rush, you know, like I got used to the rush,
Like my healthy day I can look at as a
(20:10):
little bit boring, you know, nothing, but the addiction to
that rush of that adrenaline. If something's like I'm stressing
myself out to the point that that like part of
my brain it feels like I've done a drug or
I'm doing like so I've had to let that go, you.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Know, no again.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
For me, I think in my personal life, the first
thing that came was the realization that I actually don't
control anything. Right that it was like I could plan
all I want. I can work twenty four hours, I
can take twenty million calls, I can get on the computer, I.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Can do all these things and it can still fail.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
And it was in that realization that I understood, Okay,
so if my job is not to do because that's
the universe's job, because I obviously don't control anything, what
is my job? And that's where I in my personal
life started to understand that it was to do nothing,
to stand still, to learn to be still enough to listen.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
And then courage is enough to act.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
And it was I was sitting in the back of
my may bag and I was looking at the window
as I was dealing with an issue that had happened
that day, and I said, man, it's so much nicer
sitting in the back of the car and letting the
universe and the creator drive. And it was the realization
(21:34):
of those two moments for me that was like, okay, so,
how do I listen to my body when is when
it's doing something out of fear? Right, because we stress
because we feel that if we don't do that at
that moment and if this is not handled correctly, then
everything's going to be bad and we're going to lose this.
(21:54):
And it's like accepting that no, actually, nothing's everything's okay.
Everything is happening. It needs to happen, and when you react,
you're in the way of you're getting the steering wheel
and you're taking the car. But the thing is, I
think all of us in society continues to teach us
this is you got to drive it right. Get the
bull by the horns, the famous bull in Wall Street.
(22:15):
Take this, do this by yourself. If you don't hustle,
if you don't go do this, if you don't knock
on the doors, if you don't do all this stuff.
And the realization is, even in our business, how many
talented people are out there that are not a superstar,
and how many people just seems like things just flow
to them, right, And I think is the realization that
(22:40):
everything's a gift, that you actually haven't earned anything, that
what you've done is you've been a good shepherd of
what has been given to you.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
That's what discipline and hard work and doing those things,
it's just being a good shepherd of something that the
universe handed to you. But if you don't control anything,
including your own life, you don't actually control that opportunity
coming to you. Other than being willing and accepting to understand.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
That it's just a gift.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Those two realizations for me in my personal life and
in my business life started to shift. But it started
to shift in a very interesting way because I at
first I thought, Okay, well, this is an amazing formula
for manifestation, right because I let go and I am
clear on what I want and don't want. I am
clear on understanding that on a tract, I get out
(23:33):
of the way of the universe. So I now see
clearly and I'm manifesting things. And now kind of the
challenge number two, which is what you were talking about,
is how do I define what I actually want to do?
How do I define what actually is coming to me
from a place of wholeness internally? And now buying a
(23:54):
car because you need to have the car because your
neighbors just got the hottest card and you've got to
have the other one. Or I have to do this
because I have all this pressure of having to take
care of people, having to supply for parents and for
family and this and this, And my spiritual leader says something,
because no one needs saving. Mhmm, You're not superman. You're
(24:17):
getting in the way of them being able to understand
their own process in life. That doesn't mean don't take care.
That doesn't mean don't do something great. The question is
why you're a great You could be a great giver.
Questions why are you giving? Are you giving because you're
(24:37):
expecting something back? Are you given because you need the
feeling in order to do it of course, or are
you giving.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Because it's you know, it's once again what people say
and tell you, but that best feeling is when you
do something without expectations. You know, when you do something
for someone and grinding me on the street and you
leave it, You're like, that feels good because there was
no expectation in return, you know. And the acceptance part,
I think there's a there's a you know, once again,
there's a reason why every every book you read, or
(25:07):
every spiritual path or leader or anything will revert it
back to acceptance, right because everything, if you accept everything
as it is, everything's okay. You know, that's just you know, perception.
If I accept exactly where I am in this moment,
it's okay. But for me, it's never been like the
understanding of that has never then suddenly changed me. For life,
(25:27):
it's a daily it's a daily battle.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You know, is there a lesson that you know that
life has been trying to teach you that you feel
like you keep running away from God.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It's a big question, I mean, honestly, the biggest, the
biggest lesson for me that I'm constantly trying to now
live by. Even as I say that the kind of
recent stuff that I went through myself is exactly what
we're talking about. Is just that acceptance.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
It's it's crazy to say because my grandma, you know,
passed twenty years ago now, who is an incredible woman,
like a strong Irish woman, raised like eleven kids. She
used to always say, always say it's you know, it's
always okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's
not the end. And now even I look at that
quote is another way of saying acceptance, you know, even
(26:17):
that quote itself, I never I never heard it that
way or never you know, looked at it that way,
and no one ever broke it down that way. But
that's just another way of accepting. And I think that's
the that's the biggest lesson, is accepting, right because if
I can accept, I can enjoy every moment, you know,
if I can accept, It's not about the little indie movie.
In the independent movie I'm doing compared to the big
(26:37):
Marvel movie. I'm accepting and I'm happy on that. You know,
it doesn't accept it. Acceptance can change everything, you know,
even breakups. You know, I'm still I still do that.
You know, I still be the guy that falls in
love and I'm like, oh my god, she left me,
she doesn't want me. What's wrong with me? Why am I?
If I just accept If I literally just say in
that moment, she doesn't want me, and I accept that,
(26:57):
I'm okay. The only pain is grip. It is not
is not accepted. Literally you say it out loud. It's
so simple, you know, if my dog just left me
living on the floor. Listen to our conversation with a bunch.
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
It's interesting because in in my inner work, I started
to to understand that that's the true identity.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
And purpose of this place, right, is that.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
We are our soul has chosen this specific life to
learn lessons, and we're in school. Just like when you're
in school, you don't pass a grade, you got to
do it again, right. And but it did two things
for me in understanding that. One was that I started
to understand that I should feel no pity for the
(27:50):
things that I've gone through, because it was my soul
specifically chose these things. But I started to also learn
something as a father and how to teach my daughter,
and it was that we have been taught to run
away from hard times. We have been taught to run
(28:11):
away from things that feel uncomfortable. We have been taught
that the right thing to do as a friend, or
as a parent, or as a son is to tell
the other person, Hey, it's okay, you'll see the light
at the end of the tunnel. Hey it's okay this too,
showl pass. Hey it's okay. You know this is momentarily,
(28:37):
And the truth is that in the fire is the lesson.
In the uncomfortable of the moment is the lesson, because
if you don't control anything, as we said before, when
you look at my life, in your life, a million
and one things had to happen perfectly for you and
(28:58):
I to be sitting here together having this conversations. Of course,
so any uncomfortable moment that we feel as friends is
there to be as a mirror the blessedness in the fire.
The difference is that we've associated pain with suffering. Pain
is necessary to grow, you go to the gym every
(29:19):
day you hit the you got to hit it. You
you know, you gotta work hard to have a success.
You got to do all these things. Suffering is mental
and for me the moment I understood the difference between
those two things, the difference that you know, you love
cold plungers and you can get in there and feel nothing.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I can get in there and go into.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Exactly I'll be like, I know, like you won't get
me in there, you know.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
But that's the thing is like, it's it's the mental state,
is the perception of the moment that it's creating the suffering, right,
But in the understanding that sitting in that fire is
the lesson. I start did a look at the things
that make me uncomfortable. I started to look at the
things that in relationships. You know, I'll give you, but
I want to I.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Want to there's something there that comes to my mind
that I want to push like I want to push back, yeah,
because I'm with you, right. The pain with the pain
is where we learn the lessons. Where what if sometimes
in life there's no lesson to be learned. That's what
I found for me, is like I'm always trying to
learn from the pain or learn What can I learn
from this? How can I grow? What about there's nothing
(30:29):
to learn or nothing to grow? What about in that
moment if you're just like, it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
But that's the lesson.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah, The lesson is every situation has a purpose, right,
And it's not the hunt of the lesson every time, right,
like you won't have it clear every time.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Is the acceptance of saying, Okay, this.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Has happened to me with purpose, right, because nothing is
just random, right, it has happened to be with purpose,
So I will accept what that is, even if that
moment of accepting is I feel some pain right now,
I'm a little sad, and if you really.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
This is the I guess. Another thing that I've definitely
learned recently that took so long to learn was it's
not just accepting. You have to accept it on such
a deeper level. Because I thought a million times I've accepted, right,
like I've accepted a breakup. I've accepted that I didn't
get that job, and then years later it's still hitting me.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
It's now your thought, it's a feeling.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
It's a feeling exactly. You have to have the acceptance
on such a deep level that you move forward.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
And I believe that same thing happens in manifestation.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Like I believe that there is this.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Power when you not only think about, oh, I want
to get this or I want to have a family,
but you generally put yourself in that place where you
feel what that feels like, where you feel like we'll
holding the woman that you're going to love it. It
feels like what feeling having a.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Little boy little girl walking around.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That feeling of that emotion makes it so real to
you because the thing is the brain doesn't know the difference.
And I think that's the thing that I've learned the most,
which is we are telling ourselves and other people's stories
all day long. Right, everything that we say, even a compliment,
is a story. But we're with ourselves more than we
(32:23):
are with everybody else. What stories are we telling ourselves?
And how are those stories impacting our reality? Because our
brain believes it. Our brain believes if you say, hey,
I have a headache or I have the stomach pain,
your brain is registering a signal that you are digesting
us pain. I've had a lot of strongach problems in
(32:46):
my life, and when I went to the doctor.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know, I went to like this mega super.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Special, as is the guy that was the goat of
the goats, and he said, here's the thing, Like, your
stomach has all the same sensors that your brain has.
Your brain is sensor sending a sensor down that the
stomach needs to react, so the stomach goes into full reaction,
of course, and then sending that sensor right back to
your brain to say that feeling is called pain, and
(33:13):
then you feel it.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
That's pain.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
So now you register that same feeling and everything else.
And he said, we found that people who have this
neural link going on between their body and their brain
are not strong to pain. You barely pinch him and
there's something. And so the moment we stop that signal,
(33:36):
all of a sudden, you see the person completely heal
from whatever they're dealing with because the brain is recognizing
there's nothing wrong, tells the body there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
The body realigns.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Itself and gets itself into a place where it can
heal itself. And so it tells you the power of
our brain. It tells you the power of our thoughts,
the power of the stories we tell ourselves. And for me,
that's been I want to say that the chapter of
my life I'm dealing with right It's like, how do
(34:11):
I watch what I'm telling myself and how do I
make the difference between oh, this is a story or
this is reality, or how do I identify fear as
something that is present but I'm not necessarily feeling, And
how do I create that relationship because it's a hard
thought to think, like, Okay, fear is here, but.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
I'm not feeling it. You know. Of course, when you're
digesting it in your.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Every day I think it's the same that we mentioned
with it, at least for me, was like the rush
that I was used to, you know, the rush of
getting on a plane every week, flying it somewhere, doing something,
doing this, doing that. That rush of you know, not
being enough kind of kept me getting more, you know.
So it's like you that becomes normal as well, and
it's about understanding, you know. It goes back to just
(34:52):
what you want, you know, what, what you truly want,
not on a comparing yourself to others level, not on
a what the world tells us we should be doing
or living what we actually want in our hearts. What
that little boy truly wants, you know, like taking it
back as far as you can take it back what
that little kid actually wanted in that moment. And I
got into a not i won't say a debate, but
(35:14):
like a a healthy conversation with a friend of mine
the other day because we were talking about this and
I was talking about the acceptance part and how like
you just accept the present moment and maybe there's nothing
left to fix. And then he took that A's like, yeah,
but then why would you get up and work? And
I'm like, you're missing the point. Just accepting doesn't mean
that you're going to accept your surroundings. If you're broken,
(35:35):
you can't pay your rent, that's not you don't accept that.
If you want more, if you truly sit there and
in that moment you want more, then you want more,
then go for more. Don't accept that. But at the
end of the day, if you've really done the best
you can do and you know that, then accept that.
It's just connecting with yourself more, connecting with your higher self,
your God, whatever you believe in. And I think that's
(35:56):
the part. And it doesn't mean that you know there's
nothing left to fix, meaning that you're going to make
mistakes or upset, people will be rude and never never
clean up your side of the street. I truly believe that,
you know, keeping your side of the street is massively,
massively clean, not just and it's really not about other people.
It's about yourself, you know, letting your own mind be
free of any resentments, you know, And that's that's the
(36:18):
biggest thing as well. And that's why I think it
really is a daily battle, because in today's world, you
can't have that aha moment and then go sit on
a mountain top and never see anyone again. You're going
to be confronted with different things every day and and
you're gonna for me. I slip up, right, That's it.
I don't know why, but I feel like I slip
up more than others. And I've accepted that. And I'll
be like, why the fuck did I just scream at
(36:39):
that guy in the car and want to kill him
when I've just left the meditation zoo. You know, like,
but you can clean it up, you know, like you
you you clean it up, and you keep your side
of the street clean, and then tomorrow's a new day.
You know.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
We're so used to seeing little things like I think
I mess up more than everybody else, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
And it's like these little things that we have said.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Like even I was on a trip with my dad,
we went to Europe around and he was so used
to just saying we do what we can with what
we have and that's just what it is. And like
he like, as we were talking, I said that, like
you're driving in a Porsche GTS all over Europe, Like
how much power your world?
Speaker 3 (37:20):
He called himself.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
And it's like, wow, I have all these things that
we learned, these little saying these little things that we
our mind believes that trick us into saying these things,
and we think they're just jokes, but they're not jokes,
Like there really are what your brain is registering as me,
I'm seeing.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
That when I say that, I'm genuinely seeing it from
a place of I'm okay with it. Like, by the way,
there are some people that have an AHA moment and
they they're on this cloud. You know, I've been around them,
and it's amazing to witness hasn't happened for me yet,
And that's okay. That's okay, and maybe one day will
(37:56):
and I'll come back on the podcast You'll see me
in a white cloak and I'll be floating just above
this chair.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
But you know what, but I think that that's the
that's the thing I generally, and I'm so gladly, I
generally think that the the acceptance is just everything.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
It's the understanding that it's.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
The easiest way you are anything. It's the easiest way,
the simplest and easiest way. And you know, I've tried,
I've done. People make jokes about it, like literally, I
will go on every I try every course, I'll try
every IV I'll try, you know, I do an N
A D. Like ten years ago, I fly up to
(38:34):
San Francisco, I try ketmine IV's. I've done every single
thing to try and make me feel different. And I
would say the most powerful thing beyond any drug and
any course and any anything, any any any outside thing
that we try and fill ourselves with, the most powerful
thing is just acceptance. In that moment is accepting and
(38:54):
you get a feeling of relief that no drug, no
no drink, no no hot Victoria's secret model, no one
is going to give you. Is just that moment of
acceptance And this is where I am, and you just
you suddenly it's like you get high. You can literally
be like ah. And I've been trying it so much
the last week. I can tell you it's been crazy
(39:14):
to just be like, oh my god. It's that simple.
It's really that simple. And the greatest thing is at
any point in your day, wherever you are, whatever you're doing,
if you're in a car, maybe don't close your eyes,
but like pull over, you can just have that moment
of like, it is what it is. You know, I'm
accepting this and truly, like you said, not just saying it,
(39:35):
feeling it and accepting it and taking it long enough,
whether it's ten seconds, a minute, five minutes, ten minutes,
an hour, whatever it is, to sit in that moment
and accept whatever is going on in your life right now.
And that's that's to me, is better than you know,
anything else, at least for me. It's what works, or
is what is working.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
What would you say you're afraid of.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
I'm not afraid of dying, but I would like to
live because I'm enjoying my life.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
And that's not something that I can genuinely I don't
think I could sit here and genuinely say from a
place of truth that I love my life and I
would like to continue living for probably ninety nine percent
(40:41):
of my life. It's took a long long time to
get to a place where I can sit with a
friend and say that I actually like my life and
mean it, you know, because I painted that picture for
a long time, I didn't feel it, you know. So
that feels that feels kind of good. But there's a
(41:03):
bit of fear there because I don't want it to
end now, because I feel like I'm just getting going,
you know, I genuinely don't want it to end. So yeah,
but once again, I can't control that, you know, I
don't know what's going on. But yeah, I'm not I'm
not really scared of anything, which is weird because that
that is why I guess I feel a little bit
(41:24):
lately like my life's I don't feel it's boring, but
it's definitely different because I'm not in fear. The fear
was adrenaline, right. Fear is a rush. That's why people
jump out of planes. You know, nothing scares me now,
generally nothing.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
If there's like you know, as you've transitioned into this
place of acceptance, is there a mantra or something you
tell yourself that audience listening says, and I want that
feeling all of her. Just describe what kind of words
do you tell yourself that allow you to in these
(42:00):
moments of you know, getting a call about work didn't
go right, or getting a call of a job maybe
not going or things happen, or getting.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
A ticket like before you know anybody else.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Like in that moment, is there a mantra that you're
using for yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Of just like.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
No, I hate to repeat it, but it's just the
acceptance right in that moment, I was meant to get
a ticket? Can I do anything about it now? I mean,
how many times have we trying to talk around a
policeman doesn't work? You know? Yeah, acceptance really and there's
little things that definitely helped me in life. There's a
dear friend of mine and she's she's she's really done
(42:39):
so many incredible things for me in the way of
like tools. One thing is like, you know, at the
end of the day, which I don't do it perfectly,
but writing down things that I did that were a
positive that I wouldn't have normally done. And I don't
mean deliberate things like going to the gym. I just
meaning those moments, it's like, oh, I actually made I
(43:02):
changed my mind and went to that place and it
ended up being great, And I made the effort and
I showed up for someone, and that gave me a
good feeling. Like little things of just reminding ourselves of
good things that we do. Because look, for whatever reason,
it's it's easier, at least for me, the negative part
of mind. Of my mind has always been more amplified, right,
(43:22):
I grew up that way. It's a for whatever reason,
it's easier to beat myself up and be nice to me.
And that's what I'm shifting now, you know. And I
think because we're told right like loving yourself is ego
or whatever, it's not. You know, being kind to yourself
is the healthiest thing you can do. And I don't
think we do enough of that as human beings. I
(43:42):
think we need to tell ourselves, reminded ourselves of the
good things that we've done in a day, remind ourselves
of the positive things in a day, as opposed to
just looking at the negatives.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
I agree, and I think self care, like you said,
it's been a massive key for me over this past
save months. Because like you, I people, so many people
that I speak to are like, man, but you've done
so many amazing things, and you're so great, and all
these people are looking up to you and all this stuff.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
And I was like, but the internal battle that we
go through, all of us, right.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Every human that doesn't matter how high or how low
you are, we all go through keeps you in this
rush of trying to hide that pain, right, trying to
hide that feeling of not feeling worth it or And
it wasn't until late months ago that I really started
taking some time to go back and talk to that
little lex you know, and realize, like trying to really
(44:38):
identify when was the first time I felt something right?
When was the first time that I felt like I
wasn't good enough? And I identify this moment in my
life where my I was living away from home, you know,
I had moved to the US. My father stayed in Columbia,
and I went back to Columbia for a wedding my sister,
(45:00):
and I was spending time with him, and like, in
the first I don't know, fifteen minutes he told me he
had gotten married again. And I was like, I remember
saying it in the car, like if it was yesterday,
So does that do you want me to.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Call her mom? Do?
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Like not knowing how to react to this notion of
like what is happening to my family? And then like
that afternoon, going to go and play soccer with my
friends and being like, man, his wife got really fat
and they're like, oh wait, you don't know, like know
what she's pregnant. And I remember, like it was yesterday,
(45:40):
just sitting in the car screaming hate you.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
Like I was in so much.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Pain because I felt like I had been replaced. I
felt like I wasn't good enough, and for me, even
though I loved my mother, my father's approval.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
I was saving until recently was a huge thing. You know.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I found myself like looking for his approval on things
or looking for him to be proud of me. And
he's a great man. It wasn't. None of these things
were done out of hurt and pain, but it was
also the circumstance and the situations. I don't think i'd
be the man I am today if he would have
let me come to the US and other things. But
(46:24):
it took me realizing that that was the starting point.
So then having to like really feel like we said,
think and then feel myself in that place in that
car and like sitting next to young legs blonde, curly
hair and saying, hey, it's okay, You're loved. You're okay,
(46:47):
You're gonna make it through. He loves you. It's not
replacing you. He's just like you're trying to do the
best that he can with the knowledge and the trauma
and the lessons and the fears that he has. And
it was like that, and I started to realize that
(47:09):
our inner child just needs us to talk, but we
need to feel that, you know, we need to go
back into that and put it. And to me, that's
been so transformative even in my relationship because I historically
was a playboy. You know, I was out there doing
(47:30):
my thing thinking I.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Was hot, shit or happy.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
But I really genuinely thought that that like every time
I would fall in love, because I was still fall
in love. I was like a hopeless romantic that was trying.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
To play the playboy role. Right start to fall in love,
I'll get the girl. I'll be like night in shining armor.
First three months like oh my god, he's the best ever,
you know, and then.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
As soon as I started getting serious, I would pull
away and then pulling away. It was mostly always by
cheating and then going into the next person. It was
never like Okay, goodbye, I'm not with you, I'm moving on,
by I'm single again. I was like moving into someone else.
And then I was single but kind of still with
this person and almost with this person. And I started
to create these like vicious triangles throughout my life that
(48:18):
caused me so much stress, so much pain, and so
much craziness. And I just could never understand. I'm like,
how do I keep doing this? How do I keep
like missing out on a great woman or or just
you know, picking the wrong people or you know, letting
myself be carried by sex.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
And then the universe said, oh, okay, it's about that time.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
You've been asking me for a family, even asking me
to uh to have this dream of you because I
kept on envisioning like all over COVID, like during that
whole time, I meditated every single day, and I can
paint the picture. It was literally like a how with
a pool, me walking and like my daughter at the time,
(49:05):
and I have kids and my daughter in the pool
and this woman who I couldn't identify holding another baby boy,
and I remember feeling this sense of wholeness in my spirit.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
And I was like, this is so far from my reality.
Is never going to happen for me. Bro.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
It's like, I'm, you know, thirty eight years old, Like
I have this this like fame of being a place.
Nobody's gonna want this, like you know, and I'm afraid.
So I never, like you know, finished my business inside
a woman kind of COVID ends I come out. I
had this reality show on Netflix. All of a sudden,
(49:42):
I'm like, not only industry famous, but outwarre famous. And
I start taking advantas to this. I meet this girl.
We we like each other a month and to knowing
each other. Hey I'm pregnant.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Huh. I was in a club in Spain brow and
I was like, ah.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
And I was with my father, Look how the world is.
I was with my father because we decided to do
this these yearly trips that we do. We had just
done Monica when we went to Madrid, and I remember
going back to the hotel The Four Seasons and knocking
on his door and I say, hey, I need to
talk to you. I think I'm going to be a
father and him saying, stood in the morning, we will
(50:30):
talk about it in the morning and close the door.
And I remember sitting in my bed like this can't
there's no way. But weirdly enough, and I'd never actually
said this to anybody, there was this sense of peace,
like I didn't feel scared. Then I get home, Bro,
I've never actually shared this, but I think it's it's
(50:53):
it will lead me to my last question too.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
I get home and I speak.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
To to to the girl and I tell her, hey,
you know, like, what.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
Do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (51:04):
You know, my mother taught me to be a gentleman
no matter what.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
But in the back of my head, I was also like,
oh this she's lying.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
How sway twenty something years doing this thing, you know,
all the things I've done and never not even a
little scared, not even like Awarrey, not even a call,
not even a text message from any girl. I hadn't
even thought I stopped. I was like, I'm not fertile, like,
you know, no way, because I've never had scared and
dealing with the dynamic of like I'm afraid is this
(51:35):
really mine? At the same time feeling this level of
peace that I can't describe like I just there was
something inside of me that was like, this is it.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
This is your moment and I've never said this.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
The girl decides to wait, we decide to have the baby,
the baby comes out.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Obviously.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Imagine getting to know a person while they're pregnant that
you haven't really really known. While like figure out, well,
she's finding out things about you, you're finding out things
about her. Chaos erupts like volcanic level chaos in my
life that year of the pregnancy in the year after,
where I literally I just couldn't function, I couldn't think,
(52:21):
I was I was surprised that I could even do
the things that I got to do during those years
because my life was in chaotic and and it wasn't
until Christmas of my daughter's first Christmas that I experienced
having to give her back to the mom because we
split the Christmas that I broke down and I said,
(52:44):
why if I know deep inside my heart, mhm, that
there's something here, this is this was meant for me.
Why am I fighting it so wild? Why am I judging?
Why am I putting all my insecurities? Why am I
doing this?
Speaker 3 (52:58):
This?
Speaker 1 (52:58):
This?
Speaker 2 (53:00):
I gotta leave And I went to Marrakesh for New
Year's and I sat in Marrakesh. At this party, I
met these two girls and they were having troubles with
their boyfriend. One left and I was like, what is life?
And I asked the guy, the driver that was taking around,
and said, why is your Why is your houses? Outside
(53:23):
looked like crap, like it's just like a door and
some like mud. But inside you guys have this beautiful
like landscaping and everything. I said, because we believe the
beauties on the inside. And I went to sleep that
New Year is just thinking the beauties on the inside,
your lessons on the inside. And I got back to
(53:45):
Miami and I called her and I said, listen, we've
gone through a lot, but I believe whatever life has
to teach me some inside of you. And I believe
that I've been pouring my insecurity is my fear on you.
But I believe you're my blessing. So I would like
to start.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Trying not to cry. Why are you try to know?
Speaker 2 (54:11):
I believe that that you are was meant for me.
And we've gone over the past year and six months
into a full life transition. Two people who couldn't have
(54:32):
been more polar opposites, more destructive, more insecure, more fearful,
into a couple that just like I looked at my life,
you know, I proposed I don't know three days ago,
four days ago, and I was looking at the video
(54:54):
and I was like, Wow, this two can happen, you know,
And in that feeling and in that emotion and in
everything else that we're talking, it was the first time,
I think in my life.
Speaker 3 (55:11):
And I grew up in a.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
Very religious home where I felt something I learned I
put into practice and it changed my life. And it
was in that devotion that I said, Okay, this is
all I actually want to do. And that leads me
to say, how do you look about how do you
(55:33):
look at love? How do you look at the stage
of being in a relationship? Because I did hear you
talk about in the other podcast that you did about
you know, feeling like you're forty two and maybe.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
A life and now.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
I'm forty three and I'm on another podcast and we're
saying the same No. I genuinely I think it's I
got to this point or until I'm where I am now,
I don't know any healthy relationship I would have been
in because I was always chasing, you know, and the chase.
What you just said, right, the accepting ends the chase.
(56:14):
The acceptance ends the chase for whatever you're in business,
And that doesn't mean it ends the success. It ends
that feeling of the chase. So for me, like, yeah,
I'm trying to like, I mean, look, bro, exactly what
you just said. Trust me, when you were talking about it,
(56:34):
my mind was hearing it and I was feeling it,
and I was like, half the battle is that in
relationships too, right, you could have the most amazing person
right there with you that you're meant to be with,
but if you haven't found a place of accepting where
you are now, you're just going to continue chasing. And
the same as in you know, the same as in
(56:55):
a card, There's always going to be a better car, Bro,
There's always or at least your mind is going to
tell you there's always going to be a better car.
There's always going to be a bigger house, there's always
going to be a bigger movie, there's always going to
be a better selling record. Whatever it is that is
the chase. So I think for me, I've you know,
I don't regret any of it, but there's definitely some
(57:17):
great relationships that I think if I was in the
mindset now, it would have been totally different. So now
I just want to go into love in an authentic
way and feel in that moment what it is. I
don't think I could ever have a real relationship because
(57:41):
you're not in the moment, so you don't really know
what's actually going on, you know. But yeah, of course
I don't know if you're asking that, but of course
I want to. You know, love is great, right for you.
You're talking about it, you know, family love family, It's
not like But at the same time, I can genuinely
(58:02):
also say that I wake up in the morning and
I'm happy with me, you know.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
I think that's the first step.
Speaker 1 (58:09):
Yeah, it takes a long time. And once again, don't
get me wrong, that was today. Tomorrow I might wake
up and be like, the fuck, where's my hair gone?
What's going on? But if I put it back, it's okay,
you know. So of course it's a daily thing. We
don't know, none of us, None of us know what
tomorrow is anyway. So today is all I've got. I'll
(58:32):
be the best version of myself I can be today,
and that might not be perfect either. I might still
get pissed at the copy give me a ticket, I
might still want to you know whatever, But I'm doing
the best I can and from a place of authenticity.
You know.
Speaker 3 (58:48):
I love that I.
Speaker 2 (58:49):
Always end the podcast by doing an exercise rights. As
we've talked about throughout the past hour, words have power, right,
and I believe that we as nice as we are
to other people, we're a lot tougher on ourselves. So
if there's a word or a phrase that you can
(59:10):
tell yourself right now, that will change how your mind
perceives the rest of this week, the rest of this year,
or just how you're feeling today. What would that word
and phrase be?
Speaker 3 (59:25):
And you can share with us, but live it, feel
it to yourself.
Speaker 1 (59:32):
A lot went through my head, right, like a lot
of and a lot of things that I've tried to
tell myself, like look in the mirror and tell myself
I'm enough. But I think what really hits me is
just like I'm here now.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
I love that, you know, So I love that. Olor.
Speaker 2 (59:49):
Thank you so much for being a part of this,
you know, first of many, and thank you for sharing
your story, for sharing this this emotional moment of authenticity
with each you know, so, I'm highly blessed to have
you and call you a friend.
Speaker 3 (01:00:04):
Thank you so much for.
Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
You Versus You as a production of Neon sixteen and
Entertained Studios in partnership with the Iheartmichael Tuda podcast Network.
For more podcasts, listen to the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
The biggest realizations I've had is that everything I ever
thought that would make me happy has enough.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You're now in Hollywood because you have businesses, you have
all these things.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I think Hollywood for me it's been a rollercoaster of happiness, suppression, darkness.
Oh you've got a crowd of people clapping. Instantly, I
was like, Oh, maybe I am enough, Maybe I do
fit in. It's literally since I was a kid, it
was why am I here? What am I doing here?
But at the time that was that was definitely my escape.
But we've all got that feeling of not being enough,
And for me, what shifted it is just why are
(00:36):
you trying not to?
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Words have power?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
If there's a word or a phrase that you can
tell yourself right now.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
A lot of things that I've tried to tell myself,
like look in the mirror and tell myself I'm enough.
But I think what really hits me is.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Just is there a lesson that you know that life
has been trying to teach you that you feel like
you keep running away from.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Is exactly what we're talking about, is just because if
I can, I can Everybody.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Welcome to another episode of You Versus You on this
week's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking to British actor,
producer and entrepreneur Oliver Trevina. From starting on the Paradox
Effect to co founding Cali Water with Vanessa Hudges, he's
redefining the Hollywood business model. Today we speak about success,
happiness and what it truly means to have purpose. Oliver,
(01:22):
welcome to you versus you.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Thanks for having you know.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm excited to have you here, not only because we've
shared a lot of really great times together which would
have been random, but we've been like in Perto de
Marti and Iviza and all these other places, but because
I generally feel there's something special about the energy you carry,
you know, and I think that it resonates in everything
(01:45):
that you do, not only in friendship. But I can
I can see why you are accomplishing the things that
you are.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But I want to kick it off there. Why entertainment,
It's a great question. I think it was just putting
me from kid. I got into entertainment when I was
four years old my mum. I grew up in a
little town south of London on the South Coast called Hastings.
There's not a lot of entertainment happening there other than pubs,
you know. And I'm the youngest of four boys, and
(02:15):
my mom my mom says I chose to do it.
It's still an argument we have to this day. But
I was four years old and I ended up doing
ballet and I did that for twelve years. So I
did ballet, tap modern jazz, got very you know, accomplished
in it. But ballet was the you know, the thing
that I guess got me out of the small town,
took me to London. And yeah, so entertainment, you know,
(02:37):
from then I went into you know, theater at the
same time, acting school, everything else. And I think, yeah,
it's strange looking back because, as I say, I still
don't know how I even saw ballet back then. Like
it was the eighties I grew up. There wasn't dancing
at the start and stuff like that, you know, I mean,
it definitely wasn't cool. Yeah, you know, that's when I
(02:58):
started again tattoos and I was like four een years old.
I just didn't want to get bullied. I was like, no,
its tough, really, but that was that was what you know,
painted that past. You know, it could have gone a
different way. I think life is definitely slideing doors in
so many moments of our life, you know, but that
is what kind of got me into entertainment. And I
loved it, you know. I love the rush being on stage,
(03:19):
you know, seeking that validation. But yeah, that's that's what
got me into it.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
What do you think, like if you can look back
and feel back those moments right as a kid, like
feeling the art of performance right, because I think there's
something special. Was it something that felt pressured? Was it
something that.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Felt like I feel whole here?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
What was the feeling of like sitting into performances? What
was it about it that continued to drew you in
even if your mom put you in.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Even if it was heard that look, my mom put
me in it. I stayed in there for twelve years.
I didn't have to, you know, my dad loved football
and I used to play a lot of football. I
could have easily you know, switched to your point there.
You know we I think we were have chapters right
in life for sure. But going back to that chapter,
for me, it was a feeling of you know, I
didn't feel enough as a kid. I always felt different.
(04:10):
You know, I had three elder brothers. From the minute,
as young as I can remember, I felt different. You know,
at least the performance side for me helped me be
someone different, you know, like whether it was a theater
show or whether I was on stage that kid that
got dressed up and got on stage, in that moment,
I was someone different. Of course I was still me,
(04:31):
but it gave me an escape in a way, you know.
And then, like I say that, you know, the slippery
things that come with that are like it sounds funny,
but it is. That is validation, right Like when you're
standing on the stage and you do well and you've
got a crowd of people clapp and instantly I was like, oh,
maybe maybe I am enough, maybe I do fit in.
And then that's a slippery slope as a kid, because
then that's what I'm seeking, not only on stage, but
I'm seeking it everywhere. To answer your question, I think
(04:53):
it was just it gave me an outlet. It gave
me like an escape of that feeling in my head,
my mind, that those thoughts that was always like, you know,
it's literally since I was a kid, it was why
why am I here? What am I doing here? Like
I'd look at people and be like, I'm so not
like you, and not in a negative way, just like
I didn't quite understand me. And but when I got
(05:18):
on stage or when I did something like that, it
was like an escape and I felt me, I guess
even though you know, you unravel it or and then
you're like, that wasn't me either, you know, but at
the time that was that was definitely my escape, and
I think that's what That's what that's why I loved it,
you know, That's why I became addicted to it was
because it was like it was a relief of the mind,
(05:41):
you know, as soon as I was up there, that
was it.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
It's really interesting because you touched on so many things
that I think, you know, barely gets talked about. I
can relate to the fact that I feel like my
mind doesn't stop, like I felt growing up that I
wasn't normal, you know. And then we grew up in
a in an era where mental health or like really
understanding the things that we struggle with mentally and how
(06:05):
we look at these things where there were not conversations
that people were having, like nobody was coming in here
and saying, okay, you know, it's your mind. Your mind
controls all these things, and my mind for as an
eight year old seven year old, was just running wild
in my imagination and how I looked at the world.
(06:25):
But it also which is really crazy, because when you
think back of our careers, I think that, you know,
like you said, it's been a gift. That's probably the
reason we're here because we can look at a situation
and like solve it in a way that other people
just don't see it. But with all that superpower, there's
this insecurity that comes up, like I'm not good enough,
(06:46):
or like do I really belong here?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Of course. Well, it's like it's a lot of the
realizations or work that I'm constantly doing is around patterns, right,
Like it's patterns that got us from four to fifteen
and then fifteen to thirty or whatever might have been amazing,
but they might not work for this next chapter, you know,
And it's understanding that like what was good for me then,
and I'm grateful for it, But now I can let that,
(07:10):
you know, try to let that part of me go,
you know, or try to find balance in it, or
try and find a middle ground. You know.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I was watching the scientists speak about your brain development
as you're growing up and how it gets influenced. And
it was talking about how when you're born, until you're
about like eight years old, nine years old, or maybe
a little younger, there's this box that gets created in
your life by your parents, right because your parents are
(07:39):
by default taking their own trauma, their own things to say, Okay,
don't do that, don't do this, Hey, this could be wrong.
Here's the religion you have to practice, here's the things
that you have to do, Here's how the world looks here.
And so you build this box and your world becomes
that's my truth of course. Right Then as you started
meeting some friends and you start realizing, well they got
(08:01):
divorced parents, they're thinking about it in a different way.
There may be Jewish or Christian or something else. Then
it's like a ship of this box gets broken and
now starts getting replaced with this idea that there's something different.
Then as you kind of grow older and go into
high school, you know, society comes in and now you
have an opinion of media being fed to you that says, hey,
(08:23):
this is the right thing. Hey, you know, the wealthy
and rich and having nice things is how you get
self worth and do all these things and said, well,
once you get to high school, now you have a
whole bunch of this part in that box, a small
corner of what your parents taught you that you are
now trying to erase as you think you're discovering who
(08:44):
you are a huge part of what your friends are
telling you. And then you enter the reality of society
because you go to college and it's like, if you're
a man, you got to go make money, you gotta
have this, you got to be married, you gotta have kids,
you gotta have this, you gotta have that. And if
you're a woman, if you're not having kids, he said,
for men and for women, as they're getting closer to
their forties, they stop by a mirror and they say,
(09:07):
who the.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Fuck am I?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And he said most people walk away, And the work
is to sit in front of the mirror and try
to revisit what that is and re challenge that. Right,
because part of all these things that we live and
I heard you speak about this in a couple of
(09:29):
the other interviews that you've done, is the programming and
the stories we tell our minds, right, Like we tell
our minds that we're not good enough. But the realities
were actually okay, we're more than presently okay. So as
you've with that concept in mind, as you go from
(09:51):
you know, being in theater, being a kid, and we'll
go back to that stage in your life. You're now
in Hollywood, right, You're now my name in Hollywood. You've
done films, you have businesses, you have all these things.
How does the Oliver of today feel about the things
that he was dealing with as a child.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
The Oliver today, I mean, let it's work, right, I
think the biggest I think, in a nutshell, the biggest
realizations I've had. I mean, I'm, you know, forty three,
I would say in the last few years, is that
everything I ever thought that would make me happy hasn't.
That's the simplest way of gogle goosebumps like, that's the
(10:34):
simplest way of the growth or the work that I'm doing.
That's what it is, because come into Hollywood, you know,
twenty odd more than twenty years ago, the chase, you know,
and I've been fortunate enough to succeed in so many
of the areas that I would have dreamed of succeeding it.
(10:55):
But that little boy that was on the stage that
didn't fit enough. None of that changed that, you know,
the car, the house, the girlfriend to watch, the jewelry,
that every every single little thing I've clutched that or
try to get to just free that part of my mind.
It never worked, never worked. So for me, the I
(11:16):
won't say battle. I think I actually find more peace
in it than anything else. Is doing what I want
to do and what makes me feel good. And what
I'm finding is is normally the most simplest things. You know.
It's not the don't get me wrong, I still love
nice things and you're still going to see me have
nice trips and do nice ship and everything else. But
(11:38):
it's not necessarily always that, you know. It's like stopping,
pausing and then being like, what do I what do
I want to do in this moment? What do I
want to do? You know, and and and listening to
that part of the brain or the heart I should
say instead of instead of rushing into oh my god,
this this is amazing, this is glamorous, this is so cool.
(12:00):
I'm going to rush into that. You know, even from
a job perspective, it's doing what I want to do,
you know, And that doesn't mean that then suddenly like
I don't like nice things, or I don't like to
live a nice life, or I don't like to go
to nice hotels or on trips or whatever it is.
It just means like I know that I'm doing that
because I want to do it, not because I'm doing
it because I expected to then make me feel something
(12:22):
and that removing that expectation of the outcome makes me
enjoy it more. And this is something that's like new,
Like I'm trying to do this like as we speak,
like on a daily basis. But that's been the biggest realization.
And I think for me, like I've done a lot
of you know, like as I say, work on myself
around like patterns and this, and there's been some amazing
(12:43):
things in life that's helped me, Like I will say,
like the Hoffmann Institute I went to a few years
ago and that was amazing and various. You know, I
get chapters in life where I've tried to really peel
back the onion and find out what's going on? Why
do I not feel like enough? And I think the
more I've tried to peel back the onion, the place
I've got to is that just accepting that I am
(13:07):
enough and I haven't got to carry on peeling back
the onion, you know, like that, that just feeling of
being like, oh, I'm actually okay, instead of constantly still
trying to be like why am I good? What trauma
affected me as a kid?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Was it being being up? Was it you know, whatever
it was? Was it parent stuff, whatever it was, We've
all got right. Some people have it a lot worse.
Some people have it fortunate enough not to have it
as bad. But we've all got that feeling of not
being enough. And for me, what shifted it is just
accepting that I don't want to keep trying to fix
me anymore. Like I'm okay, everything's okay. I've got a
(13:51):
dog on my lap right now, I'm sitting talking to
a mate. I'm in LA right now, is okay. The
only time I'm tripping is when I'm thinking about the
past or the future. And it's the ship that we
all sorry my language that it's the stuff that we
all read in books all the time. And it's so simple,
And I think there's a reason it's in so many books.
(14:11):
It's because it's so simple and it does work. It's
that realization and then, don't get me wrong, I still
enjoy the nice things. But am I having expectation that
that new car that I want is going to suddenly
make Oliver feel enough? Because if I am, it ain't
going to work. Don't get the car. If I actually
stop and I'm like, do I want to buy this
(14:32):
car because I I want this car and it's for
me and I'm going to enjoy driving it, then buy
the car. You know, but none of it is going
to really you know, That's why people always mind blow
when they're like, oh, I met this couple in you know,
Thailand and they were the happiest people ever and they
had nothing. Well it was because how many times do
we have to all be shown that none of that
(14:52):
is actually going to give you that feeling? You know.
That's that's the chase. So I think Hollywood for me
has been a lot of It's been a row, a
coaster of happiness, depression, darkness, brilliant and the chase. And
I'm trying to slow down the chase a little bit. Now.
That's probably where I'm at in life.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Do you remember the moment or the stage or chapter
of your life where you realize, oh, shoot. All the
things I thought were going to make this better are
not there. Was it like an event? Was it something
that you lived and were like.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
The little kid in me? If you went back to
Hastings and the little kid in tights with lipstick on
standing on the stage and you said you're going to
be in a you know, Hollywood movies, I would have
been like, I mean, that's like the biggest dream and
now I'm getting to do that.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
But I'm not.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I wasn't enjoying the moment of it because while I
was on set, I'm constantly thinking where's the next project?
What can I package next? I'm constantly thinking about business stuff.
And then the movie's gone, and then everyone's clapping at
the rap party being like we're rapped. I'm like, what
just happened? You know? So yeah, to answer your question
that it's still I find that, you know, not everyone,
(16:06):
but at least for me, it's been like a rubber band,
right like I'll have the I'll have that aha moment,
I'll have the realization and then you're going down this
path and then you slip, and it's how quickly you
get off that back onto the path, and then you'll
have another AHA moment. So I don't think for me,
it's just been like boom, that realization. I've had that
(16:27):
realization a few times, and I feel like every time
the moment very recently, like a week or so ago,
where it just happened again and it felt like it
hit on a core level, that's that shifted me. But
I don't know what the future holds. Right now. I
feel great and I feel like change has happened. But
the first time I felt it was I remember exactly
(16:50):
where it was, and this is this sounds so obnoxious.
I was at sam Withsente Bungalow's members club right and
I was meant to be going on this Hoffman Institute
course and I had pushed it probably I think over
the space of two years, i'd pushed it eight times,
and they kept emailing saying, you know you're gonna lose
your deposit. And I was like, oh, well, please put
(17:10):
me on April course, Please put me on. And every
time I'd push it, sometimes because I got a job,
sometimes just because I was like I don't need this.
I'm crushing life now. And I got an email from
the facilitator saying, Hey, we're going to have to take
you off this waiting list of this course. And I
read the email and something in me dropped, like my
stomach dropped. And I went into like their little back
payo area and I emailed and said can you get
(17:30):
on a call and she said yeah, and I called
and I said, I need to come. And it was
that moment because I realized everything. I was getting, everything
I'd got, and I was, you know, crushing life, so
I thought, and I was, I was more empty than
I've ever felt in my life, like literally more more
lost than the kid that had nothing. And so in
(17:54):
that moment, that was when I went. And that was
when you know that that whole course is about like
patterns and peeling back life and going back to where
it will start and letting it all go. And it's amazing.
And I'd like to say that it like, you know,
fixes everything, but it doesn't, because we're a constant. We're
in life every day, and life every day especially with
phones and you know, media and everything else that we're
(18:16):
pulled into and people. You know, I'm fortunate enough to
be surrounded by massively successful people both in entertainment and
in business, and that little voice in my head wants
to tell me all the time that I'm not doing
good enough because that guy's you know, doing this, and
that guy's doing that, and that for me is the
daily battle is just you know, and that's the shift
(18:37):
I feel this time around is just like taking time
for me. I think it sounds you know, I think
we're raised, at least our generation in a way of like,
you know, me is selfish. You know, putting me first
is selfish, and so I've always tried to do the opposite.
Yet you know, it's it's it's I hate being the
cliche guy, but it's so true that you know, you've
got to put your own mask on that simple and
(18:59):
so if I start every day by just trying to
what do I want today, what do I want to do?
You know, it doesn't mean I'm going to let my
businesses fail or anything else. But you can only do
what you can do, you know, and then the rest
you got to kind of surrender to and accept. Acceptance
is really what shifted me.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yeah, I think it's it's amazing that you pinpoint acceptance too,
because I think I would say one hundred percent of
the battle is accepting one hundred percent of the battle
is saying like I'm okay and none of these things
are going to change. Also in that same token, because
I know a lot of people hear this and all
(19:35):
of us. It happens to all of us right where
we start doing really good, we're on track, we feel
really good. Something happens and then we're like, but you
get the anxiety of like you're not doing good, and
you let go of the teaching and the learnings, and
it's like even accepting that, right and one of the.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Things rush, you know, like I got used to the rush,
Like my healthy day I can look at as a
(20:10):
little bit boring, you know, nothing, but the addiction to
that rush of that adrenaline. If something's like I'm stressing
myself out to the point that that like part of
my brain it feels like I've done a drug or
I'm doing like so I've had to let that go, you.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Know, no again.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
For me, I think in my personal life, the first
thing that came was the realization that I actually don't
control anything. Right that it was like I could plan
all I want. I can work twenty four hours, I
can take twenty million calls, I can get on the computer, I.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Can do all these things and it can still fail.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
And it was in that realization that I understood, Okay,
so if my job is not to do because that's
the universe's job, because I obviously don't control anything, what
is my job? And that's where I in my personal
life started to understand that it was to do nothing,
to stand still, to learn to be still enough to listen.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
And then courage is enough to act.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
And it was I was sitting in the back of
my may bag and I was looking at the window
as I was dealing with an issue that had happened
that day, and I said, man, it's so much nicer
sitting in the back of the car and letting the
universe and the creator drive. And it was the realization
(21:34):
of those two moments for me that was like, okay, so,
how do I listen to my body when is when
it's doing something out of fear? Right, because we stress
because we feel that if we don't do that at
that moment and if this is not handled correctly, then
everything's going to be bad and we're going to lose this.
(21:54):
And it's like accepting that no, actually, nothing's everything's okay.
Everything is happening. It needs to happen, and when you react,
you're in the way of you're getting the steering wheel
and you're taking the car. But the thing is, I
think all of us in society continues to teach us
this is you got to drive it right. Get the
bull by the horns, the famous bull in Wall Street.
(22:15):
Take this, do this by yourself. If you don't hustle,
if you don't go do this, if you don't knock
on the doors, if you don't do all this stuff.
And the realization is, even in our business, how many
talented people are out there that are not a superstar,
and how many people just seems like things just flow
to them, right, And I think is the realization that
(22:40):
everything's a gift, that you actually haven't earned anything, that
what you've done is you've been a good shepherd of
what has been given to you.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
That's what discipline and hard work and doing those things,
it's just being a good shepherd of something that the
universe handed to you. But if you don't control anything,
including your own life, you don't actually control that opportunity
coming to you. Other than being willing and accepting to understand.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
That it's just a gift.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Those two realizations for me in my personal life and
in my business life started to shift. But it started
to shift in a very interesting way because I at
first I thought, Okay, well, this is an amazing formula
for manifestation, right because I let go and I am
clear on what I want and don't want. I am
clear on understanding that on a tract, I get out
(23:33):
of the way of the universe. So I now see
clearly and I'm manifesting things. And now kind of the
challenge number two, which is what you were talking about,
is how do I define what I actually want to do?
How do I define what actually is coming to me
from a place of wholeness internally? And now buying a
(23:54):
car because you need to have the car because your
neighbors just got the hottest card and you've got to
have the other one. Or I have to do this
because I have all this pressure of having to take
care of people, having to supply for parents and for
family and this and this, And my spiritual leader says something,
because no one needs saving. Mhmm, You're not superman. You're
(24:17):
getting in the way of them being able to understand
their own process in life. That doesn't mean don't take care.
That doesn't mean don't do something great. The question is
why you're a great You could be a great giver.
Questions why are you giving? Are you giving because you're
(24:37):
expecting something back? Are you given because you need the
feeling in order to do it of course, or are
you giving.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Because it's you know, it's once again what people say
and tell you, but that best feeling is when you
do something without expectations. You know, when you do something
for someone and grinding me on the street and you
leave it, You're like, that feels good because there was
no expectation in return, you know. And the acceptance part,
I think there's a there's a you know, once again,
there's a reason why every every book you read, or
(25:07):
every spiritual path or leader or anything will revert it
back to acceptance, right because everything, if you accept everything
as it is, everything's okay. You know, that's just you know, perception.
If I accept exactly where I am in this moment,
it's okay. But for me, it's never been like the
understanding of that has never then suddenly changed me. For life,
(25:27):
it's a daily it's a daily battle.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You know, is there a lesson that you know that
life has been trying to teach you that you feel
like you keep running away from God.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
It's a big question, I mean, honestly, the biggest, the
biggest lesson for me that I'm constantly trying to now
live by. Even as I say that the kind of
recent stuff that I went through myself is exactly what
we're talking about. Is just that acceptance.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
It's it's crazy to say because my grandma, you know,
passed twenty years ago now, who is an incredible woman,
like a strong Irish woman, raised like eleven kids. She
used to always say, always say it's you know, it's
always okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's
not the end. And now even I look at that
quote is another way of saying acceptance, you know, even
(26:17):
that quote itself, I never I never heard it that
way or never you know, looked at it that way,
and no one ever broke it down that way. But
that's just another way of accepting. And I think that's
the that's the biggest lesson, is accepting, right because if
I can accept, I can enjoy every moment, you know,
if I can accept, It's not about the little indie movie.
In the independent movie I'm doing compared to the big
(26:37):
Marvel movie. I'm accepting and I'm happy on that. You know,
it doesn't accept it. Acceptance can change everything, you know,
even breakups. You know, I'm still I still do that.
You know, I still be the guy that falls in
love and I'm like, oh my god, she left me,
she doesn't want me. What's wrong with me? Why am I?
If I just accept If I literally just say in
that moment, she doesn't want me, and I accept that,
(26:57):
I'm okay. The only pain is grip. It is not
is not accepted. Literally you say it out loud. It's
so simple, you know, if my dog just left me
living on the floor. Listen to our conversation with a bunch.
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
It's interesting because in in my inner work, I started
to to understand that that's the true identity.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
And purpose of this place, right, is that.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
We are our soul has chosen this specific life to
learn lessons, and we're in school. Just like when you're
in school, you don't pass a grade, you got to
do it again, right. And but it did two things
for me in understanding that. One was that I started
to understand that I should feel no pity for the
(27:50):
things that I've gone through, because it was my soul
specifically chose these things. But I started to also learn
something as a father and how to teach my daughter,
and it was that we have been taught to run
away from hard times. We have been taught to run
(28:11):
away from things that feel uncomfortable. We have been taught
that the right thing to do as a friend, or
as a parent, or as a son is to tell
the other person, Hey, it's okay, you'll see the light
at the end of the tunnel. Hey it's okay this too,
showl pass. Hey it's okay. You know this is momentarily,
(28:37):
And the truth is that in the fire is the lesson.
In the uncomfortable of the moment is the lesson, because
if you don't control anything, as we said before, when
you look at my life, in your life, a million
and one things had to happen perfectly for you and
(28:58):
I to be sitting here together having this conversations. Of course,
so any uncomfortable moment that we feel as friends is
there to be as a mirror the blessedness in the fire.
The difference is that we've associated pain with suffering. Pain
is necessary to grow, you go to the gym every
(29:19):
day you hit the you got to hit it. You
you know, you gotta work hard to have a success.
You got to do all these things. Suffering is mental
and for me the moment I understood the difference between
those two things, the difference that you know, you love
cold plungers and you can get in there and feel nothing.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I can get in there and go into.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Exactly I'll be like, I know, like you won't get
me in there, you know.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
But that's the thing is like, it's it's the mental state,
is the perception of the moment that it's creating the suffering, right,
But in the understanding that sitting in that fire is
the lesson. I start did a look at the things
that make me uncomfortable. I started to look at the
things that in relationships. You know, I'll give you, but
I want to I.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Want to there's something there that comes to my mind
that I want to push like I want to push back, yeah,
because I'm with you, right. The pain with the pain
is where we learn the lessons. Where what if sometimes
in life there's no lesson to be learned. That's what
I found for me, is like I'm always trying to
learn from the pain or learn What can I learn
from this? How can I grow? What about there's nothing
(30:29):
to learn or nothing to grow? What about in that
moment if you're just like, it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
But that's the lesson.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah, The lesson is every situation has a purpose, right,
And it's not the hunt of the lesson every time, right,
like you won't have it clear every time.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Is the acceptance of saying, Okay, this.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Has happened to me with purpose, right, because nothing is
just random, right, it has happened to be with purpose,
So I will accept what that is, even if that
moment of accepting is I feel some pain right now,
I'm a little sad, and if you really.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
This is the I guess. Another thing that I've definitely
learned recently that took so long to learn was it's
not just accepting. You have to accept it on such
a deeper level. Because I thought a million times I've accepted, right,
like I've accepted a breakup. I've accepted that I didn't
get that job, and then years later it's still hitting me.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
It's now your thought, it's a feeling.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
It's a feeling exactly. You have to have the acceptance
on such a deep level that you move forward.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
And I believe that same thing happens in manifestation.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Like I believe that there is this.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Power when you not only think about, oh, I want
to get this or I want to have a family,
but you generally put yourself in that place where you
feel what that feels like, where you feel like we'll
holding the woman that you're going to love it. It
feels like what feeling having a.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Little boy little girl walking around.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That feeling of that emotion makes it so real to
you because the thing is the brain doesn't know the difference.
And I think that's the thing that I've learned the most,
which is we are telling ourselves and other people's stories
all day long. Right, everything that we say, even a compliment,
is a story. But we're with ourselves more than we
(32:23):
are with everybody else. What stories are we telling ourselves?
And how are those stories impacting our reality? Because our
brain believes it. Our brain believes if you say, hey,
I have a headache or I have the stomach pain,
your brain is registering a signal that you are digesting
us pain. I've had a lot of strongach problems in
(32:46):
my life, and when I went to the doctor.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know, I went to like this mega super.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Special, as is the guy that was the goat of
the goats, and he said, here's the thing, Like, your
stomach has all the same sensors that your brain has.
Your brain is sensor sending a sensor down that the
stomach needs to react, so the stomach goes into full reaction,
of course, and then sending that sensor right back to
your brain to say that feeling is called pain, and
(33:13):
then you feel it.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
That's pain.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
So now you register that same feeling and everything else.
And he said, we found that people who have this
neural link going on between their body and their brain
are not strong to pain. You barely pinch him and
there's something. And so the moment we stop that signal,
(33:36):
all of a sudden, you see the person completely heal
from whatever they're dealing with because the brain is recognizing
there's nothing wrong, tells the body there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
The body realigns.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Itself and gets itself into a place where it can
heal itself. And so it tells you the power of
our brain. It tells you the power of our thoughts,
the power of the stories we tell ourselves. And for me,
that's been I want to say that the chapter of
my life I'm dealing with right It's like, how do
(34:11):
I watch what I'm telling myself and how do I
make the difference between oh, this is a story or
this is reality, or how do I identify fear as
something that is present but I'm not necessarily feeling, And
how do I create that relationship because it's a hard
thought to think, like, Okay, fear is here, but.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
I'm not feeling it. You know. Of course, when you're
digesting it in your.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Every day I think it's the same that we mentioned
with it, at least for me, was like the rush
that I was used to, you know, the rush of
getting on a plane every week, flying it somewhere, doing something,
doing this, doing that. That rush of you know, not
being enough kind of kept me getting more, you know.
So it's like you that becomes normal as well, and
it's about understanding, you know. It goes back to just
(34:52):
what you want, you know, what, what you truly want,
not on a comparing yourself to others level, not on
a what the world tells us we should be doing
or living what we actually want in our hearts. What
that little boy truly wants, you know, like taking it
back as far as you can take it back what
that little kid actually wanted in that moment. And I
got into a not i won't say a debate, but
(35:14):
like a a healthy conversation with a friend of mine
the other day because we were talking about this and
I was talking about the acceptance part and how like
you just accept the present moment and maybe there's nothing
left to fix. And then he took that A's like, yeah,
but then why would you get up and work? And
I'm like, you're missing the point. Just accepting doesn't mean
that you're going to accept your surroundings. If you're broken,
(35:35):
you can't pay your rent, that's not you don't accept that.
If you want more, if you truly sit there and
in that moment you want more, then you want more,
then go for more. Don't accept that. But at the
end of the day, if you've really done the best
you can do and you know that, then accept that.
It's just connecting with yourself more, connecting with your higher self,
your God, whatever you believe in. And I think that's
(35:56):
the part. And it doesn't mean that you know there's
nothing left to fix, meaning that you're going to make
mistakes or upset, people will be rude and never never
clean up your side of the street. I truly believe that,
you know, keeping your side of the street is massively,
massively clean, not just and it's really not about other people.
It's about yourself, you know, letting your own mind be
free of any resentments, you know, And that's that's the
(36:18):
biggest thing as well. And that's why I think it
really is a daily battle, because in today's world, you
can't have that aha moment and then go sit on
a mountain top and never see anyone again. You're going
to be confronted with different things every day and and
you're gonna for me. I slip up, right, That's it.
I don't know why, but I feel like I slip
up more than others. And I've accepted that. And I'll
be like, why the fuck did I just scream at
(36:39):
that guy in the car and want to kill him
when I've just left the meditation zoo. You know, like,
but you can clean it up, you know, like you
you you clean it up, and you keep your side
of the street clean, and then tomorrow's a new day.
You know.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
We're so used to seeing little things like I think
I mess up more than everybody else, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
And it's like these little things that we have said.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Like even I was on a trip with my dad,
we went to Europe around and he was so used
to just saying we do what we can with what
we have and that's just what it is. And like
he like, as we were talking, I said that, like
you're driving in a Porsche GTS all over Europe, Like
how much power your world?
Speaker 3 (37:20):
He called himself.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
And it's like, wow, I have all these things that
we learned, these little saying these little things that we
our mind believes that trick us into saying these things,
and we think they're just jokes, but they're not jokes,
Like there really are what your brain is registering as me,
I'm seeing.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
That when I say that, I'm genuinely seeing it from
a place of I'm okay with it. Like, by the way,
there are some people that have an AHA moment and
they they're on this cloud. You know, I've been around them,
and it's amazing to witness hasn't happened for me yet,
And that's okay. That's okay, and maybe one day will
(37:56):
and I'll come back on the podcast You'll see me
in a white cloak and I'll be floating just above
this chair.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
But you know what, but I think that that's the
that's the thing I generally, and I'm so gladly, I
generally think that the the acceptance is just everything.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
It's the understanding that it's.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
The easiest way you are anything. It's the easiest way,
the simplest and easiest way. And you know, I've tried,
I've done. People make jokes about it, like literally, I
will go on every I try every course, I'll try
every IV I'll try, you know, I do an N
A D. Like ten years ago, I fly up to
(38:34):
San Francisco, I try ketmine IV's. I've done every single
thing to try and make me feel different. And I
would say the most powerful thing beyond any drug and
any course and any anything, any any any outside thing
that we try and fill ourselves with, the most powerful
thing is just acceptance. In that moment is accepting and
(38:54):
you get a feeling of relief that no drug, no
no drink, no no hot Victoria's secret model, no one
is going to give you. Is just that moment of
acceptance And this is where I am, and you just
you suddenly it's like you get high. You can literally
be like ah. And I've been trying it so much
the last week. I can tell you it's been crazy
(39:14):
to just be like, oh my god. It's that simple.
It's really that simple. And the greatest thing is at
any point in your day, wherever you are, whatever you're doing,
if you're in a car, maybe don't close your eyes,
but like pull over, you can just have that moment
of like, it is what it is. You know, I'm
accepting this and truly, like you said, not just saying it,
(39:35):
feeling it and accepting it and taking it long enough,
whether it's ten seconds, a minute, five minutes, ten minutes,
an hour, whatever it is, to sit in that moment
and accept whatever is going on in your life right now.
And that's that's to me, is better than you know,
anything else, at least for me. It's what works, or
is what is working.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
What would you say you're afraid of.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
I'm not afraid of dying, but I would like to
live because I'm enjoying my life.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
And that's not something that I can genuinely I don't
think I could sit here and genuinely say from a
place of truth that I love my life and I
would like to continue living for probably ninety nine percent
(40:41):
of my life. It's took a long long time to
get to a place where I can sit with a
friend and say that I actually like my life and
mean it, you know, because I painted that picture for
a long time, I didn't feel it, you know. So
that feels that feels kind of good. But there's a
(41:03):
bit of fear there because I don't want it to
end now, because I feel like I'm just getting going,
you know, I genuinely don't want it to end. So yeah,
but once again, I can't control that, you know, I
don't know what's going on. But yeah, I'm not I'm
not really scared of anything, which is weird because that
that is why I guess I feel a little bit
(41:24):
lately like my life's I don't feel it's boring, but
it's definitely different because I'm not in fear. The fear
was adrenaline, right. Fear is a rush. That's why people
jump out of planes. You know, nothing scares me now,
generally nothing.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
If there's like you know, as you've transitioned into this
place of acceptance, is there a mantra or something you
tell yourself that audience listening says, and I want that
feeling all of her. Just describe what kind of words
do you tell yourself that allow you to in these
(42:00):
moments of you know, getting a call about work didn't
go right, or getting a call of a job maybe
not going or things happen, or getting.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
A ticket like before you know anybody else.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Like in that moment, is there a mantra that you're
using for yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Of just like.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
No, I hate to repeat it, but it's just the
acceptance right in that moment, I was meant to get
a ticket? Can I do anything about it now? I mean,
how many times have we trying to talk around a
policeman doesn't work? You know? Yeah, acceptance really and there's
little things that definitely helped me in life. There's a
dear friend of mine and she's she's she's really done
(42:39):
so many incredible things for me in the way of
like tools. One thing is like, you know, at the
end of the day, which I don't do it perfectly,
but writing down things that I did that were a
positive that I wouldn't have normally done. And I don't
mean deliberate things like going to the gym. I just
meaning those moments, it's like, oh, I actually made I
(43:02):
changed my mind and went to that place and it
ended up being great, And I made the effort and
I showed up for someone, and that gave me a
good feeling. Like little things of just reminding ourselves of
good things that we do. Because look, for whatever reason,
it's it's easier, at least for me, the negative part
of mind. Of my mind has always been more amplified, right,
(43:22):
I grew up that way. It's a for whatever reason,
it's easier to beat myself up and be nice to me.
And that's what I'm shifting now, you know. And I
think because we're told right like loving yourself is ego
or whatever, it's not. You know, being kind to yourself
is the healthiest thing you can do. And I don't
think we do enough of that as human beings. I
(43:42):
think we need to tell ourselves, reminded ourselves of the
good things that we've done in a day, remind ourselves
of the positive things in a day, as opposed to
just looking at the negatives.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
I agree, and I think self care, like you said,
it's been a massive key for me over this past
save months. Because like you, I people, so many people
that I speak to are like, man, but you've done
so many amazing things, and you're so great, and all
these people are looking up to you and all this stuff.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
And I was like, but the internal battle that we
go through, all of us, right.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Every human that doesn't matter how high or how low
you are, we all go through keeps you in this
rush of trying to hide that pain, right, trying to
hide that feeling of not feeling worth it or And
it wasn't until late months ago that I really started
taking some time to go back and talk to that
little lex you know, and realize, like trying to really
(44:38):
identify when was the first time I felt something right?
When was the first time that I felt like I
wasn't good enough? And I identify this moment in my
life where my I was living away from home, you know,
I had moved to the US. My father stayed in Columbia,
and I went back to Columbia for a wedding my sister,
(45:00):
and I was spending time with him, and like, in
the first I don't know, fifteen minutes he told me he
had gotten married again. And I was like, I remember
saying it in the car, like if it was yesterday,
So does that do you want me to.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Call her mom? Do?
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Like not knowing how to react to this notion of
like what is happening to my family? And then like
that afternoon, going to go and play soccer with my
friends and being like, man, his wife got really fat
and they're like, oh wait, you don't know, like know
what she's pregnant. And I remember, like it was yesterday,
(45:40):
just sitting in the car screaming hate you.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
Like I was in so much.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Pain because I felt like I had been replaced. I
felt like I wasn't good enough, and for me, even
though I loved my mother, my father's approval.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
I was saving until recently was a huge thing. You know.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I found myself like looking for his approval on things
or looking for him to be proud of me. And
he's a great man. It wasn't. None of these things
were done out of hurt and pain, but it was
also the circumstance and the situations. I don't think i'd
be the man I am today if he would have
let me come to the US and other things. But
(46:24):
it took me realizing that that was the starting point.
So then having to like really feel like we said,
think and then feel myself in that place in that
car and like sitting next to young legs blonde, curly
hair and saying, hey, it's okay, You're loved. You're okay,
(46:47):
You're gonna make it through. He loves you. It's not
replacing you. He's just like you're trying to do the
best that he can with the knowledge and the trauma
and the lessons and the fears that he has. And
it was like that, and I started to realize that
(47:09):
our inner child just needs us to talk, but we
need to feel that, you know, we need to go
back into that and put it. And to me, that's
been so transformative even in my relationship because I historically
was a playboy. You know, I was out there doing
(47:30):
my thing thinking I.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Was hot, shit or happy.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
But I really genuinely thought that that like every time
I would fall in love, because I was still fall
in love. I was like a hopeless romantic that was trying.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
To play the playboy role. Right start to fall in love,
I'll get the girl. I'll be like night in shining armor.
First three months like oh my god, he's the best ever,
you know, and then.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
As soon as I started getting serious, I would pull
away and then pulling away. It was mostly always by
cheating and then going into the next person. It was
never like Okay, goodbye, I'm not with you, I'm moving on,
by I'm single again. I was like moving into someone else.
And then I was single but kind of still with
this person and almost with this person. And I started
to create these like vicious triangles throughout my life that
(48:18):
caused me so much stress, so much pain, and so
much craziness. And I just could never understand. I'm like,
how do I keep doing this? How do I keep
like missing out on a great woman or or just
you know, picking the wrong people or you know, letting
myself be carried by sex.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
And then the universe said, oh, okay, it's about that time.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
You've been asking me for a family, even asking me
to uh to have this dream of you because I
kept on envisioning like all over COVID, like during that
whole time, I meditated every single day, and I can
paint the picture. It was literally like a how with
a pool, me walking and like my daughter at the time,
(49:05):
and I have kids and my daughter in the pool
and this woman who I couldn't identify holding another baby boy,
and I remember feeling this sense of wholeness in my spirit.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
And I was like, this is so far from my reality.
Is never going to happen for me. Bro.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
It's like, I'm, you know, thirty eight years old, Like
I have this this like fame of being a place.
Nobody's gonna want this, like you know, and I'm afraid.
So I never, like you know, finished my business inside
a woman kind of COVID ends I come out. I
had this reality show on Netflix. All of a sudden,
(49:42):
I'm like, not only industry famous, but outwarre famous. And
I start taking advantas to this. I meet this girl.
We we like each other a month and to knowing
each other. Hey I'm pregnant.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Huh. I was in a club in Spain brow and
I was like, ah.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
And I was with my father, Look how the world is.
I was with my father because we decided to do
this these yearly trips that we do. We had just
done Monica when we went to Madrid, and I remember
going back to the hotel The Four Seasons and knocking
on his door and I say, hey, I need to
talk to you. I think I'm going to be a
father and him saying, stood in the morning, we will
(50:30):
talk about it in the morning and close the door.
And I remember sitting in my bed like this can't
there's no way. But weirdly enough, and I'd never actually
said this to anybody, there was this sense of peace,
like I didn't feel scared. Then I get home, Bro,
I've never actually shared this, but I think it's it's
(50:53):
it will lead me to my last question too.
Speaker 3 (50:56):
I get home and I speak.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
To to to the girl and I tell her, hey,
you know, like, what.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
Do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (51:04):
You know, my mother taught me to be a gentleman
no matter what.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
But in the back of my head, I was also like,
oh this she's lying.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
How sway twenty something years doing this thing, you know,
all the things I've done and never not even a
little scared, not even like Awarrey, not even a call,
not even a text message from any girl. I hadn't
even thought I stopped. I was like, I'm not fertile, like,
you know, no way, because I've never had scared and
dealing with the dynamic of like I'm afraid is this
(51:35):
really mine? At the same time feeling this level of
peace that I can't describe like I just there was
something inside of me that was like, this is it.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
This is your moment and I've never said this.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
The girl decides to wait, we decide to have the baby,
the baby comes out.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Obviously.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Imagine getting to know a person while they're pregnant that
you haven't really really known. While like figure out, well,
she's finding out things about you, you're finding out things
about her. Chaos erupts like volcanic level chaos in my
life that year of the pregnancy in the year after,
where I literally I just couldn't function, I couldn't think,
(52:21):
I was I was surprised that I could even do
the things that I got to do during those years
because my life was in chaotic and and it wasn't
until Christmas of my daughter's first Christmas that I experienced
having to give her back to the mom because we
split the Christmas that I broke down and I said,
(52:44):
why if I know deep inside my heart, mhm, that
there's something here, this is this was meant for me.
Why am I fighting it so wild? Why am I judging?
Why am I putting all my insecurities? Why am I
doing this?
Speaker 3 (52:58):
This?
Speaker 1 (52:58):
This?
Speaker 2 (53:00):
I gotta leave And I went to Marrakesh for New
Year's and I sat in Marrakesh. At this party, I
met these two girls and they were having troubles with
their boyfriend. One left and I was like, what is life?
And I asked the guy, the driver that was taking around,
and said, why is your Why is your houses? Outside
(53:23):
looked like crap, like it's just like a door and
some like mud. But inside you guys have this beautiful
like landscaping and everything. I said, because we believe the
beauties on the inside. And I went to sleep that
New Year is just thinking the beauties on the inside,
your lessons on the inside. And I got back to
(53:45):
Miami and I called her and I said, listen, we've
gone through a lot, but I believe whatever life has
to teach me some inside of you. And I believe
that I've been pouring my insecurity is my fear on you.
But I believe you're my blessing. So I would like
to start.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Trying not to cry. Why are you try to know?
Speaker 2 (54:11):
I believe that that you are was meant for me.
And we've gone over the past year and six months
into a full life transition. Two people who couldn't have
(54:32):
been more polar opposites, more destructive, more insecure, more fearful,
into a couple that just like I looked at my life,
you know, I proposed I don't know three days ago,
four days ago, and I was looking at the video
(54:54):
and I was like, Wow, this two can happen, you know,
And in that feeling and in that emotion and in
everything else that we're talking, it was the first time,
I think in my life.
Speaker 3 (55:11):
And I grew up in a.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
Very religious home where I felt something I learned I
put into practice and it changed my life. And it
was in that devotion that I said, Okay, this is
all I actually want to do. And that leads me
to say, how do you look about how do you
(55:33):
look at love? How do you look at the stage
of being in a relationship? Because I did hear you
talk about in the other podcast that you did about
you know, feeling like you're forty two and maybe.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
A life and now.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
I'm forty three and I'm on another podcast and we're
saying the same No. I genuinely I think it's I
got to this point or until I'm where I am now,
I don't know any healthy relationship I would have been
in because I was always chasing, you know, and the chase.
What you just said, right, the accepting ends the chase.
(56:14):
The acceptance ends the chase for whatever you're in business,
And that doesn't mean it ends the success. It ends
that feeling of the chase. So for me, like, yeah,
I'm trying to like, I mean, look, bro, exactly what
you just said. Trust me, when you were talking about it,
(56:34):
my mind was hearing it and I was feeling it,
and I was like, half the battle is that in
relationships too, right, you could have the most amazing person
right there with you that you're meant to be with,
but if you haven't found a place of accepting where
you are now, you're just going to continue chasing. And
the same as in you know, the same as in
(56:55):
a card, There's always going to be a better car, Bro,
There's always or at least your mind is going to
tell you there's always going to be a better car.
There's always going to be a bigger house, there's always
going to be a bigger movie, there's always going to
be a better selling record. Whatever it is that is
the chase. So I think for me, I've you know,
I don't regret any of it, but there's definitely some
(57:17):
great relationships that I think if I was in the
mindset now, it would have been totally different. So now
I just want to go into love in an authentic
way and feel in that moment what it is. I
don't think I could ever have a real relationship because
(57:41):
you're not in the moment, so you don't really know
what's actually going on, you know. But yeah, of course
I don't know if you're asking that, but of course
I want to. You know, love is great, right for you.
You're talking about it, you know, family love family, It's
not like But at the same time, I can genuinely
(58:02):
also say that I wake up in the morning and
I'm happy with me, you know.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
I think that's the first step.
Speaker 1 (58:09):
Yeah, it takes a long time. And once again, don't
get me wrong, that was today. Tomorrow I might wake
up and be like, the fuck, where's my hair gone?
What's going on? But if I put it back, it's okay,
you know. So of course it's a daily thing. We
don't know, none of us, None of us know what
tomorrow is anyway. So today is all I've got. I'll
(58:32):
be the best version of myself I can be today,
and that might not be perfect either. I might still
get pissed at the copy give me a ticket, I
might still want to you know whatever, But I'm doing
the best I can and from a place of authenticity.
You know.
Speaker 3 (58:48):
I love that I.
Speaker 2 (58:49):
Always end the podcast by doing an exercise rights. As
we've talked about throughout the past hour, words have power, right,
and I believe that we as nice as we are
to other people, we're a lot tougher on ourselves. So
if there's a word or a phrase that you can
(59:10):
tell yourself right now, that will change how your mind
perceives the rest of this week, the rest of this year,
or just how you're feeling today. What would that word
and phrase be?
Speaker 3 (59:25):
And you can share with us, but live it, feel
it to yourself.
Speaker 1 (59:32):
A lot went through my head, right, like a lot
of and a lot of things that I've tried to
tell myself, like look in the mirror and tell myself
I'm enough. But I think what really hits me is
just like I'm here now.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
I love that, you know, So I love that. Olor.
Speaker 2 (59:49):
Thank you so much for being a part of this,
you know, first of many, and thank you for sharing
your story, for sharing this this emotional moment of authenticity
with each you know, so, I'm highly blessed to have
you and call you a friend.
Speaker 3 (01:00:04):
Thank you so much for.
Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
You Versus You as a production of Neon sixteen and
Entertained Studios in partnership with the Iheartmichael Tuda podcast Network.
For more podcasts, listen to the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.